December 12, 2011


Remiel, age 8
Otago, New Zealand (1997)

I love this photo, because it was a victory for me. It meant I was going to attend the Cub Scouts with the other boys, instead of the Brownies with the girls. Yup, back then this cheeky chappie was a girl.

My parents kept my hair short, and I wore hand me downs from the older boys in my family. My family accepted my gender presentation, and still do. My dad used to boast about how strong I was.

When I was young, I assumed I was a boy. So puberty came as a depressing realization. I didn't grow my hair until I was 14, and only relented to dresses at 16.

It took me a long time to realize I was different. And I only figured it out when every time I imagined myself, I imagined myself as male.

As a kid, I ran around in a pack of boys playing sport and making messes. The other kids called me boy-girl. Seems they knew a dozen or so years before I would!

Now I'm genderqueer, gay, and coming to accept my place in the world.
I still like "guy things," but I'm a pretty femme gay guy.

One thing that never changes though: I still get asked, "Are you a boy or a girl?"
My answer: Yes!

Remiel's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Christian Cullen (All Blacks' rugby player)


Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"


Randuwa said...

Like what you like and be who you are! Great post, friend.

Just Two Chicks said...

Love your story... just one question because I am ignorant about some things. Let's call it not getting out enough. What is gender queer?

I've had a few friends who are asked if they are girls or boys by children. They are butchy girls and identify as female.

I had another friend who went from being female to male, and she was attracted to women.

thegayte-keeper said...

Wow thought I was looking @ a boy...LOVE THIS!

JCF said...

"What is gender queer?"

Well, as a genderqueer myself (FWIW, my story is
here), I would define it as

"Androgynous . . . only Sexier!"