Darcy

Darcy, age 3
New Philadelphia, Ohio (1987)

As a kid, I was a little odd. I liked girly things to an extent. I was okay with dresses, but not jewelry. I liked dolls, but I preferred crafty creative endeavors more. I guess it was kind of telling that when playing with Barbie dolls, I always had two Barbies living together, with no Ken around. Ken was just not interesting or necessary to me.

I loved Punky Brewster. She was
one of my early role models/loves. The Spice Girls were a major obsession, too. I had a new favorite member every few weeks.

And Gwen Stefani in the No Doubt days was the love of my life.

All these fierce women plastered my bedroom walls in high school.

Sadly, I got teased pretty badly in high school. I was called a slut, a dyke, a freak.

I cut off all my hair in 10th grade, and wore crazy thrift store clothes.

That probably didn't help much, but
I liked looking that way.

I always kissed girls but dated guys, and I tried really hard to make those relationships work.

I thought there was something wrong with me, as I was so unhappy. I spent years in therapy and on medication, thinking I was somehow essentially broken and would never find that spark of joy in my life. I drank heavily and used drugs and hated myself.

Finally, now, at age 27, I have the most amazing, beautiful girlfriend I could ever ask for. I finally feel like the missing piece has been found.

I also learned there was never anything wrong with me. I was just trying to fit into a place that wasn't meant for me. I don’t know what my future holds, but I finally found happiness. And I know I'm just fine exactly the way I am.

Darcy's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Soleil Moon Frye (as "Punky Brewster")
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Donald

Donald, age 11
Omaha, Nebraska (1981)

Only a young gay boy could strike a pose with a 5-pound carp! And this photo sums up my childhood. I enjoyed being outside playing in the dirt, climbing trees, fishing, and doing archery. No girly stuff. This, despite having two older sisters who dressed me up in pigtails and paraded me around the neighborhood once. I just consider myself an unwilling participant that day.

I always felt "different" as I was an introvert, and not into sports.

And I didn't feel comfortable around my peer group.

My mom always told me that I was just "3 steps ahead" of my friends, so I came to believe my "differentness" was simply being more advanced than my peers.

My first (and only) gay experience was with my childhood friend, when I was about 11.

I was over at his house and he "accidentally" touched me - and I "accidentally" touched him right back. It was awesome!

We did this off and on for a few years, until we drifted apart.

I held on to those memories but I never dared to repeat the experience, because of the shame and guilt. The word "gay" never entered into my vocabulary until about 7-years ago, when I actually figured out that I was gay. This, after being married for 7 years and having 2 absolutely wonderful sons.

Because I never identified as gay, I had a relatively normal childhood.
In fact, I've only been called "freak" and "offensive" to my face, by my own wife!

I'm out to both our immediate families. My family is just fine with me, though we never actually talk about it. I sometimes wonder:

Did my mom know all along?

I have a lot of sorting out to do, and I am fearful yet hopeful for my uncertain future. I look at my photo now and just wish that I could be that naïve boy again. I wasn't afraid back then.

So my advice to the youth of today is:
One of the greatest fears, is the fear of being yourself. So get over that fear!
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Noelle

Noelle, age 4
St. Charles, Missouri (1987)

I think that I realized that I was different at a fairly young age. I grew up a "tomboy" that used to melt my sisters' Barbie dolls in the microwave. I loved to play outside and was always in overalls and my saddle shoes.

One of the last times I wore a dress was at an 8th grade dance. I hated dresses and skirts back then. I still do.

Jeans, t-shirts, or a button-down with a tie is about all you'll catch me wearing as an adult.

I didn't actually come out until just a few years ago, when I was 24. Despite having a more than supportive family, for the longest time I kept telling myself that it wasn't true I was gay.

I even thought that the kind of music
I listened to, (primarily heavy rock) would prove that I couldn't be gay.

Not because of fear of not being accepted, but more so that I thought it would make my life difficult. Boy, was I wrong...

Now that I am out, I couldn't be happier about it. I'm very proud of who I am and want younger people to know that things DO GET BETTER.
I was very fortunate to have such an accepting family and amazing friends.

Not everyone is as fortunate. But I know that those people wouldn't change who they are for the world. And if their families don't accept them, then they create their own with the loving people around them. "Family" doesn't necessarily mean blood-related.

The world is changing and people are slowly evolving.
Hang in there and ALWAYS be yourself. Besides, everyone else is taken!

Noelle's first, famous-person same sex crushes:
Jamie Lee Curtis (in "True Lies")
Joyce Hyser (in "Just One of the Guys")
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Betty

Betty, age 7
Berkeley, California (1989)

My 1st clue that I was gay occurred before I was even born. My mother thought it would be an excellent idea to name me "Billie" i.e. after Billie Holiday. As a tomboy growing up, and later as an androgynous-variety lesbian often hit on by gay men, I find it hilarious that I very easily could have been named Billie.

I mean, how much more confusing would that have been when asked the dreaded "Are you a boy or a girl?" question?

That was often flung at me at recess.

Later in my life, it was the gay guys who'd ask me, "Hey there cutie, what's your name?"

The 2nd clue that I was born gay can be seen in Exhibit A:
This photo of me showing off my guns in my Little League uniform.

I loved sports, was on every team imaginable, and was often the only girl on the team. Especially SOFTBALL and BASKETBALL. Yes, I wrote those in all caps, because they are - after you include GOLF - the most lesbian of sports possible.

The 3rd and most compelling clue of my innate lesbianism, is that when I picture my future, I see two brides walking down the aisle. And later, having my own children whose first words are "mama" and "mommy."

And you know what? I feel extremely grateful that in a world that may sometimes frown on this particular version of a happily ever after, I can live each day feeling proud of who I am.

Yup, I am excited about my super awesome lesbian future.

Betty's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Geena Davis (in "A League Of Their Own")
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Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"

Robyn

Robyn, age 3
La Grange, Illinois (1987)

This is me, my baby sister, and my grandma. I am on the left, of course!

I was always a late bloomer, in all aspects of my life.

I didn't come out until after
I graduated college. But somewhere deep inside,
I knew I was queer by age 3.

I mean, look at this photo!

I know the photos we submit don't need to "scream gay" to be posted on this site...

But I think this one does just that!
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Michael

Michael, age 4
Adelaide, South Australia (1988)

After years of hating to look at photos of myself, this is one of my favorites. Because even though there is a happy smile on my face, there is still something different about this little boy!

The name calling and bullying started in 2nd grade. I had no idea what a f*g or a poof was, but I knew it meant I had to try to hide it. But I didn't know how to be what society wanted me to be?

While I loved to play dolls and stuff with my sister, I was obsessed with cars and bikes and doing stupid stunts. So I felt completely confused.

Was I going to turn into a girl like everyone said I was, or was I going to turn into a boy?

When I was 11, it started to make sense: I was a boy who liked boys.

I was also a boy who liked doing girl and boy stuff. And once high school and hormones hit, things got worse. My flamboyant side shoved its way out even more. I hated being me!

I desperately wanted to "own up" to who I really was, and though everyone else knew it, how could I admit to being gay? Then in 10th grade, enough was enough and I came out. The bullying got worse, but I felt secure in myself.

If they were going to torture me, at least I knew it was because of my honesty.

My friends were fine, and not a bit surprised. But I never knew how to tell my parents, so one Wednesday night while watching TV, I just blurted it out.
I was dizzy and in tears. I swore they knew, yet they said they had no idea.

After a few rocky months, they came around. I'm now 27, and have been an out and proud gay man for over 10 years, and life couldn’t be better!

Things HONESTLY do get better.

Just hang in there, and you will figure out how to be the "you" that you were meant to be. And you will do it with your head held high!

Also check out "My First Gay Crush" Blog

Igor

Igor, age 2
Rio de Janeiro, Brazil (1989)

I have only but flashes of my childhood. In our new neighborhood, there were only a few people living nearby. There were no other kids around, and being the chubby kid in school didn't exactly make me the most popular student.

I was being called names since forever, and my only friends were my teachers and the school staff.

I always felt different, and I could tell since the age of 5 that I had a "thing" for boys.

All my friends were girls, and I'd spend most of my time wondering how it would be when I became one. Because I was sure that being a boy wasn't for me.

My father was utterly against my demonstrations of femininity, and he did everything he could to change my ways: soccer, skating, and trying to buy me a motorcycle when I got older.

I remember this one special Christmas when I was around 7-years old, and my uncle gave me a complete set of GI Joe figures, and I couldn't care less about it! All my devotion went to my cousin's new Barbie doll, and I was so jealous of her!
Why couldn't I get the cute gifts?

This picture might seem like nothing special, but it shows how carefree I could be back when I was a baby. The fabulous shoes I had, catwalking in diapers.

When I came out at age 18, I asked my father how could he not be impressed with his gay son, who could sing all the lyrics to "I Will Survive"? Eventually,
my parents came around, and now they're with me every step of the way!

That same energy kept me going until I decided to come out of the closet.
And if there's a "gay energy" that marks us as being happy, no matter what,
then I'm sure I've had it since birth.

To those who, like my boyfriend, still haven't come out, or are struggling hard while doing it, hang on! Be free to do what you like with whoever you like!

That feeling of no shame or guilt or the need to hide, is the best reward you can get in life. It gets better!

Igor's first, famous-person same sex crush:
John Stamos (on "Full House")
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Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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Dhanny

Dhanny, age 3

Caracas, Venezuela (1980)

When I was a child, I was like "the toy" in the house, because I'm the youngest of 4 children. I was a bit spoiled, and my one sister even walked the whole city, just to buy me an E.T. doll with lights on the finger and heart.

My childhood was as nice as possible, but I knew I was "different" as early as kindergarten. My teacher called my mom to tell her that I always held hands with another boy, and said it was "abnormal behavior." So the teacher put us in different classrooms. And I think this was the first time that I was "punished" because of my "natural selection" - haha!

I loved playing baseball, swimming, and riding my bike like most kids. But there was always something inside me that made me more soft. I excelled in art, drawing and acting. But when it came to baseball or football, I was the worst!

In high school, I even had a girlfriend! But with pressure about having sex, we had no choice but to break up and just be friends. She was actually a lesbian, and 10 years later we kissed, just to piss off our old friends.

I chose this picture, because it shows me trying to steal some grapes. And my family thought, "How cute! Click the camera!" But when it came to my sexuality, that was a subject not talked about in my house.

But now, I think they feel so natural in my life. My nephew and niece come to my home, and they love my partner. I have been blessed with my family, and I don't feel shame about anything.

I worry about today's kids, who still suffer hardship because of their sexuality.
But we are not aliens. And there is nothing wrong with us, or you.

As long as you respect yourself, you can be respected back. There is a bright future ahead, and it gets better every day. But the most important person we need to love, is ourselves.

Dhanny's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Mark-Paul Gosselaar (Zack Morris on "Saved By The Bell")

I watched just to see 'the cute blond guy,' desperate to be his Kelly! 

Justin

Justin, age 7

Kendal, Cumbria, UK (1989)

I had two obsessions as a child - clothes and dancing. My mum took my sister to ballet lessons, which I insisted on attending. And to my father's utter disbelief, she actually dressed me in a leotard with ballet slippers. I even had leg warmers.

This concerned my father so much, he insisted I take rugby lessons to man me up. And I hated them.

Not because I didn't like rugby or that I was terrible playing it. I just felt really out of place.

The other boys on the team took an instant dislike to me. Eventually, my dad and I compromised, which meant taking tennis and cricket lessons.

So, I was allowed to keep dancing and drop the traumatic rugby lessons.

I never realized I was gay until I was 14, and was not comfortable with it until much later.


And I can remember the moment I knew: a friend brought a porn magazine to school. We were all fascinated, as none of us had seen a naked woman before.

I remember saying "I don't get it," and someone said "Well, you must be gay." This placed the seed of doubt in my mind. Weeks later I knew for sure, when a friend found his mum's very graphic videotape called "A Guide to Sex." The woman in it didn't interest me, only the man. And, my two best friends.

I don't know why it took so long for me realize who I was, or why I found being gay so difficult to accept. In my mind, being gay was a weakness. And at the time, I already felt flawed.

I decided to repress everything I felt was gay about myself. I regret doing that,
as it made me so unhappy. It was not until I started art school that I started to accept who I was. The moment I did, my life changed for the better.

Today, I'm a menswear designer. And I still love to dance.

Ken

Ken, age 8

Bay Area, CA (1989)

My parents and I spent the summer of 1989 with my mum's cousins in California.

13 years later, my mum told the same cousins that her son is gay.

"We knew since he was a kid," they replied. "You didn't know?"

My relationship with my mum got so much better after I came out to her.

It took her a few months to "digest the news."

But soon, she was telling all her close friends and relatives about me a year later.

Martin

Martin, age 4

Orlando, Florida (1980)

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but I think this picture is worth one word: queer. To be completely honest, I don't remember the moment this photo was taken while we were visiting Disneyworld. I do however, remember quite clearly, that as a child I was intrigued by all things glamorous.

Through the innocent eyes of a little Latino gay boy, what's more glamorous than a 6 ft 3 mouse-woman - in a red and white polka dot dress, with super luscious eyelashes, giant yellow pumps, and puffy white gloves? The answer is nothing.

Nothing is more fabulous than Minnie Mouse and her trademark blue
eye-shadow. NOTHING!

The 4-year old Martin, almost instinctively, already knew this to be true. And I think it can be safely said that Minnie Mouse was my first drag queen sighting.

When I look at this picture, I imagine time traveling back to the year 1980. Then I picture grown-up Martin standing in front of tiny Martin, and hugging him and telling him that everything will be okay. And my heart breaks for the difficulty that awaits this sensitive and creative kid.

What I see here is a little boy who is trying to figure out how a fabulous glove was stitched so perfectly. And when I look at this photo, I also wonder how my father could have been disappointed? This is a child with imagination!

He wants to make music and wonderful things and draw lovely pictures.
And so what if he punches like a girl? This boy deserves love.

If I were to show you the uncropped image, you'd also see my mother and my sister. But to me, this moment is not about my family. This moment is about Martin and Minnie. Two souls that understand each other.

This moment is about a gay boy's bliss. He is still unaware of ridicule and discrimination. He is still innocent. He is in love with the construction of a fabulous costume. He seems to know the power of artifice.

And he isn't ashamed quite yet.

Martin's first, famous-person same sex crush:
He-Man, The Most Powerful Man in the Universe
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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Joshua

Joshua, age 12
San Luis Obispo, CA (1989)

I guess this was my "Brokeback Mountain" phase. My mom's side of the family were all cowboys, and this was taken right before I completely gave up on trying to fit in.

I always knew I was "different" than other little boys. I loved to put on makeup and play dress up.

And I wanted to be a Solid Gold dancer or Wonder Woman when I grew up.

I don't do well with labels, but I guess if I had to pigeonhole myself,
I would identify as gender queer.

Because when I read the definition of gender queer for the first time, it sounded just like me.


I've been married to a woman, I've procreated, and I've had sex with men and women. I'm capable of having crushes on either, but one thing I've never felt,
is confusion. I always knew just who I was. And that was just - me.

If you're young and queer, be proud.
You will always be cooler than everyone else.
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David

David, age 8

Corpus Christi, TX (1988)

When I came out to my mom in high school, she told me she already knew.

Judging by the picture I've posted,
well - of course she knew!

Throughout my childhood, my mom nurtured my creativity. And she never tried to instill in me the "normal" behavior for boys.

From dancing around wearing her bangles, or singing along to Bette Midler's "Perfect Isn't Easy" from "Oliver & Company," my mom just let me be ME.


Sure, my mom worried about how the world would treat me, but she never felt that it gave her cause to change my behavior.

She knew that with a strong foundation of love and acceptance at home, I could take on the hate I might encounter elsewhere.

Stephen

Stephen, age 4

Ponoka, Alberta, Canada (1989)

I was awkward as a kid, like being accident prone. Also I was probably the tallest person in my school throughout most of my elementary, middle, and high school years. So I stuck out like a sore thumb. It bothered me, because when you are different when younger, children are cruel.

As early as age 5, I dressed up in my mom's clothes, playing with her makeup.

I didn't see anything wrong with it. My parents didn't see anything wrong with it when I was younger either.

I eventually figured I was too old for that kind of stuff so I stopped. It didn't mean I didn't have fun doing it though. It was always nice.

When I was 13, I started to realize I liked other boys.
I KNEW I was different earlier, but this was when hormones happened.

My parents were far more accepting of the things I did than I give them credit for. My dad was always saying things like "F*g this" or "Queer that" and I guess that's what happens when you are raised Catholic. He just didn’t like gays.

But when I told him I was gay, he seemed to change his whole perspective, which is a good thing. My mom always said, "It's your life. Do what you want with it."

After suffering through a couple years of depression after coming out, I look back on my picture and think "I'm almost back to being that kid again. Not caring. Just happy." And I really am. It's a long process though.

Words of advice to all my fellow LGBTQ people:
Go into your childhood photos. Find a picture of you looking happy, and tell yourself that you will be that happy again. That has worked wonders for me

Stephen's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Ryan Gosling (in "Breaker High" and "Young Hercules")

I actually cried during the 'Young Hercules' episode when Ryan appeared to die.
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Dexter

Dexter, age 6

Manila, Philippines (1984)

I knew I was "different" when I was 4-years old, and of course, I did not have the words to describe that part of me. And it was difficult for me to define myself because I - like most Filipinos - come from a conservative Catholic family.

I grew up listening to "The Wiz" and "Annie" soundtracks. And to Madonna, who I vogued to in private. TV, movies, and books were my only companions, as I did not have any friends.

I had a feeling then that Bert & Ernie from "Sesame Street" were more than roommates, and that the "Hardy Boys" were definitely having adventures together outdoors and indoors.

In my dreams, "Robocop" was my "roommate," and we weren't solving mysteries.

Looking at my childhood now that I am an adult, I was a very sad boy.

I handled the bullying by taking my mind away from reality. I spent my non-school days locked in the house, and not wanting to interact with anyone.

But everything is different now: I am living with my partner, I am extremely happy, and I do not have to escape to feel that happiness.

Now, the two of us listen to my Madonna and Abba (his favorite) records together, and we spend the weekends having South Australian adventures.

And yes: we have our adventures both outdoors and indoors.
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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Rebecca

Rebecca, age 12

Louisa, KY (1986)

This pic was shot right after I forced my mother to cut my hair short. She had made me have it very long all of my life, all the way down to my butt. And I hated it. I told her that if she didn't cut it for me, I would cut it myself - LOL!

I am the youngest of 4 girls, and as far as I know, the only one who is lesbian.
I had always been a tomboy, but this was about the age that I started noticing other girls.

At this age, my favorite shows were "GI Joe" and "He-Man." I got picked on in school, but not for being gay. No one knew I was gay, or even knows now.
I have not come out to my family yet, but a few of my close friends know.

My message to gay children is to know that a lot of people can be very intolerant.
No matter how good of a person you are, there will always be those who oppose you. But don't let it get to you. Stand strong, and be yourself!

Rebecca's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Jennifer Connelly
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AJ

AJ, age 3

Honolulu, HI (1984)

The only vacation my family ever really went on, was this vacation to Hawaii when I was 3-years old.

This photo was taken by a family member, and supposedly my father was VERY angry that I had put the flowers behind my ears like this.

In recent years, my father has told me he knew I was gay when I was 2-years old. So at this point, he must have been upset that his suspicions might actually be true.

I, though, have always loved this photo. Just look at that mug!

My only wish is that I had given more FACE, instead of just going for the model pout. But c'est la vie.

Dean

Dean, age 8

Great Falls, South Carolina (1981)

My parents divorced when I was a baby, and my father disappeared completely from my life. Later, my mother married a man that didn't want me around, and so I fell into the care of my grandparents. Although they took care of my physical needs, my emotional needs went largely unmet. I was rarely touched or held, and often craved those physical expressions of affection.

Growing up gay in a small town in South Carolina was very hard, to say the least.

Looking back, I always knew that I was different. Unfortunately, my peers knew it too, and I had very few friends.

Being a loner, I had a vivid imagination and very active fantasy life. I developed a huge crush on Bo Duke on "Dukes of Hazzard."

I didn't know what it meant, but my heart skipped a beat every time he slide across the General Lee.

I often imagined Bo spending time with me, doing things that fathers and sons did together. Such as fishing, working on cars, or helping me with my homework.

I was often the target of both physical and verbal bullies, and found very little solace at home as well. Halloween was my favorite time of year because I got to dress up, and I could be somebody else. Because I didn't really want to be me.

As I grew up and learned to like myself, I actually became grateful to all those bullies. Because it was their abuse that made me the strong person I am today. And I developed a thick skin and sharp wit to combat their insults and injuries.

And the imagination that I developed to help me cope with life's stress, helped me to discover myself as an artist and a writer.

As much as it hurt at the time, I wouldn't change my childhood for anything in the world. All those experiences made me who I am today: A strong, gay man who likes himself and loves his life. What more could you ask for?

Dean's first, famous-person same sex crush:

John Schneider (on "Dukes of Hazzard")

_________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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