Jay

Jay, age 5
South Bend, IN (1954)

I was a very imaginative kid. I enjoyed role playing, but was not a born thespian. It was the single image/pose that captured a moment/attitude that I employed - as shown here. In this photo, I think I was channeling Rita Hayworth and other glamor girls I'd seen in magazines. At that age, no one in my family minded my "dress up" or "pretending".

But, in high school, attitudes toward my "ambivalence" had changed, and my parents made me join the swim-team, and play football. Having endured those episodes with great pain (mostly psychological), I decided to start dating girls to escape the family "sports requirement."

And that worked quite well, freeing me of parental pressure, and I viewed it as a path to "normalcy" and acceptance.

This, in spite of the fact that I'd been sexually attracted to men since I was 9. And I remember those moments in the swim-team showers to this day!

Many years - and many heartaches - later, I separated from my wife of 10 years and "came out". Fortunately, she was very understanding, and aside from a few years of nearly unendurable self-guilt, there was no exterior punishment. It was something I got past - and thank God for my art!

I often wonder how much more open and comfortable my life would have been without these experiences. But, I also feel that my life experiences made me the artist I am today. And, the whole person who had a 26-year gay relationship (ending in his death), and now a new, 5-year-and-counting wonderful gay relationship.

Self acceptance can be a long hard path. But the earlier you start down that path, the more pleasant and rewarding your journey is likely to be.

Aaron

Aaron, age 8

Southwest, IN (2001)

This is my 3rd grade production of "Pecos Bill." I KILLED that role, but remember being a little irritated that the play ended with me marrying
Sweet Sue. What I'm twirling is a giant "snake" - take from that what you will.

"Red bandana thankfully *not* a premonition of things to come"

After this, I was bitten by the acting bug and kept busy in children's theater and choir in a bigger town near me, which gave me an outlet for my creative energy and flamboyance.

When I reached 7th grade, I was hit with the trio of pubescent awkwardness: fat, glasses, and braces. This, combined with my flagrant swishiness,
did me no favors growing up in a small, farming-and-mining, Bible-belt town.


I came out when I was 14 (although I'd known for years before then), and I remember my mom being terrified for me. All she could think to say at first was that I couldn't tell anyone else, that I should at least try to pretend with girls, etc.

My parents and family became extremely supportive - they're founding members of PFLAG! - and were a godsend through the dark days of junior high.

I dropped everything artsy except choir by the time I reached high school and favored academic teams. This led me to my saving grace – volunteering for the Obama campaign in Indiana, with a bunch of post-menopausal, progressive, LGBT-friendly women. Through the campaign and other kinds of Democratic, environmental, and pro-choice activism since then, I found my meaning in life.

If I hadn't been gay in my environment, I don't think I would have found it in me to care so much about politics, and how the people I can help elect can drastically change my world for the better. For that, I'm extremely grateful.

I'm finishing high school now, and am going to either Harvard or Stanford this fall to major in political science. Although show choir is about the limit of my arts activity today, I still think of the days when I could become whoever I wanted to be on stage. I think that played a big part in helping me have the courage to become the man I am today.

Aaron's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Hayden Christensen (Anakin Skywalker in "Attack Of The Clones")

He seemed so sweet and cute then, although I cringe if I see the movie now

Stephen

Stephen, age 7
Richmond, IN (1989)

Here I am looking fashionable for my first day of second grade. I mean, who doesn’t look good in a fishing shirt? My parents, being good Midwesterners, always required a photo shoot on the first day of school. This is one shot of many.

It's also clear from this photo that I was not in charge of decorating the house.

“Out Fishing”

For me, I didn’t have a clear concept of “being gay” for quite some time, but going to school suddenly made me realize I was different even if I didn’t know how. I’ve always had a high-pitched voice, clearly had no problem with putting my hand on my hip, or dangling a limp wrist. At this time in my life, I was also visiting a speech therapist weekly to work on saying words like “squirrel,” which I had great trouble with.

Regardless, I always loved school and excelled at it even when I felt out of place and insecure. Looking back on this photo as a very out gay man, I’m proud of little Stephen and everything he went through to get us where we are today.

I don’t think he had any idea what was coming.

Stephen's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Bruce Boxleitner (on "Scarecrow & Mrs. King")

My mother loved that show and I was always really drawn to him. He made me have very funny feelings that I couldn’t quite understand at the time.
I have no regrets. He was hot. 
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Michael

Michael, age 6

Anderson, Indiana (1989)

Half shirt? Check...

Capri-pant pajama bottoms? Check...

Tight, toned abs? Check...

So how were my parents surprised when I came out to them?

It was around this time when I started to feel "different"...

But little did I know that I was born that way, baby!

Michael's first, famous gay crush:
Alec Baldwin 
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Waiyde

Waiyde, age 5
Indianapolis, Indiana (1966)

Late spring. Easter celebration. Irish-Catholics love to wear white during Easter. This was the year I knew I was different. I'd always felt like I had more feelings than my rough 'n tumble cousins and brothers. I liked to paint, color, make up stories, and I was precocious and reading by the time I was age 4.

"Please note my jaunty ascot/necktie action and my oh so ready to contemplate
the world and fashion dreamy stare into space. I am 5 - and queer"

I used to look at this photo (and others like it) and wonder just how this sweet-faced boy turned into such a rough-assed, punk rock, fight/f*ck, queer man.

But - I now know that much of that was an undiscussed reaction to all the homophobic commentary my 'sensitive' nature evoked from my fellows.

Today, I look at this photo of me, and I think that this boy is still inside me -
and I quite like him being a part of me.

Waiyde's first, famous-person same sex crushes:
Cartoon Crush - Race Bannon on "Johnny Quest"
Race was always shirtless and attentively at Dr. Quest's side and I thought they were a couple and Johnny & Haji were their kids. No women on that show, ever. When I told my older brother about it at 6, he laughed and told me no one lived like that and I was stupid. Little did he know, right?

Human Crush - Robert Conrad on "The Wild, Wild West"

He was ripped, furry, butch as f*ck in super tight pants and often half naked and loved to fight. He reminded me of the crazy sexy Black-Irish types that populated my family & neighborhood, whose white skin was always peppered w/freckles and dusted w/dark hair on well developed working-class chests and stomachs. Super dreamy.
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