Showing posts with label gay siblings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gay siblings. Show all posts

February 13, 2018

Samantha

Samantha, age 3
Wildomar, California (2001)

I’m the one in the diaper with all my brothers and three family friends in the back. It was my birthday and everybody had been wearing boxers the whole day so, obviously, I was in my pull up! My mom made everyone "dress up" for pictures -- but I refused.


I was always naked back then. I didn’t even know the difference between boys and girls until I had to use a separate bathroom in first grade.

Being raised with seven boys made me think I was a boy, too. I just didn’t know any different. I wore their hand-me-downs, and we played with (and destroyed) toys together. It was just my life.

I didn’t know what gay was until my dad told me never to come home with another girl or he’d kick me out. I wouldn’t even hold my best friend's hand in school for fear of being seen as gay. But I wore the label “Tomboy” proudly in my oversized T-shirts and baseball caps!

Seventeen years after this photo was taken, me and two of the boys behind me are proudly gay. Both parents struggled with it, but they’ve been so supportive. They love me and I’m so grateful to have them.

After depression, anxiety, suicide attempts, and self harm, I’m much better now. I’m in college and proudly lesbian. I love who I am and I’m not ashamed of it.
___________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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August 08, 2014

Henry

Henry, age 6
Birmingham, Alabama (1986)

This picture of me and my (also gay) twin brother Andy was taken at our grandmother's house. We would always fight over who got to wear the silky shirt. I'm on the right in the shirt, and Andy is on the left in the heels.

This picture and time of my life brings back great memories, because my grandparents didn't care about our differences. They just wanted us to be happy and to be ourselves.

We were both big fans of Care Bears and My Little Pony

My sister had an ET doll and Godzilla figure that would shoot its hand off. But Andy and I pretty much stuck to our stuffed animals and Rainbow Brite dolls.

Speaking of stuffed animals, I came out to my teddybear at 5.

But our older sister actually came out before we did, so she helped break our parents in. 

I like to say we all helped drag our parents kicking and screaming into the 21st century! LOL!

For younger gay kids reading this, I would like to tell them that I thank God every day I was born a homosexual. It has helped me to grow as an individual and learn so much more about myself at an early age.
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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July 21, 2013

Mió

Mió, age 12 
Gammelstad, Sweden 1977

I grew up in the north of Sweden, in a little town where the sun doesn't shine in the winter and shines brightly all during summer.

I always knew that there was something "different" about me. But little did I know that in the future it would bring about this gay and wonderful life.

A tough part growing up is that my parents were VERY religious. And sometimes that felt like a curse from the dark side.

I didn't have many friends growing up, but I had one special one. It was Peter, my first love. He had moved to our town and was in my class. It was love at first sight, before I knew how love would actually feel.

To this day, I remember every little thing about him:
His blue eyes, the blond hair, and his wonderful dimples.

Today, I'm married to a wonderful husband, with three lovely children and a beautiful life. I wouldn't change my childhood, this black-grey-sepia-period of mine. Somehow it formed me and shaped me into the person I am today.

Mom, you always knew - even if you bit the pillow when my little sister turned out to be a lesbian. Dad, you never knew - even when you found me in bed with another man! So here I am, and here YOU are - born perfect in the eyes of God!
__________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"


May 24, 2012

Zulema

Zulema, age 7
Phoenix, Arizona (1992)

I've always felt different.
Heck, even my name is different.

My girl crush was always on Angelina Jolie. My first lesbian "experience" was at the age of 19, when I fell in love for the first time with my best friend. That didn't work out and I'm still coping.

Strangely, my siblings are like me:
My two younger brothers and an older sister are gay as well.

We never quite spoke of our sexuality until Facebook came around, and we've became more open about it.

This picture brings me joy because I'm now an artist.
It's true when they say we all have a destiny.
____________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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November 12, 2011

Bobby & Leticia

Bobby & Leticia (cousins), age 3
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma (1993)


Bobby:
Growing up in a family that was all women, I quickly latched on to the one that was closest to me in age. I think I first realized I was gay around 3 or 4, but I didn't know it was called being gay. I always thought I was, then the dreams started. In my head I remember thinking, "Yep I'm gay." All I knew is that guys were what I liked. Girls were just my friends.

Leticia and I being born in the same family is no accident. I believe God knew that we would need each other. She was the first person I told I was gay, and the first to understand my fear. She has helped me through life and all its struggles.
When I told my mom I was gay this year, I was scared. But she still loves me.

Leticia:
I first realized I was different when I was 6, and a game of pretend house that lead to me kissing a girl. I think I knew something was going on with me, considering I was playing the husband. I have always just been one of the guys.

I told my mother when I was 14 and my dad when I was 20. It's been a long journey, but I feel that I'm lucky because I have had my cousin Bobby this whole time. We are now 22 and 21, and we talk every day with no boundaries.

I lucked out being raised with him, and I know that he feels the same for me.
My family loves me no matter what. I am accepted and that's all I ask for.

Both:
We are lucky to have each other, and a family that never stopped loving us.
_____________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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August 10, 2011

Thom

Thom, age 10
Orlando, Florida (1973)

This is my sister and I shot at Disney World. I find the hat I'm wearing to be a
big revel of my true self. This is how I was born, and I am free and happy!

I grew up in Ft. Lauderdale, FL
and I recall being a mascot for my father's football team. And I remember my mom seeing me cheerleading in my football gear with all the cheerleaders.

I'm also not the only gay member of my family. A much younger relative just came out, and he praised me for being myself, and helping to make his experience hopeful and easier.

Today, I'm 48 and happy and living in New York City.

I'm surrounded by my siblings and their children, and I feel very loved.
__________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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April 26, 2011

Dexter

Dexter, age 6
Manila, Philippines (1984)

I knew I was "different" when I was 4-years old, and of course, I did not have the words to describe that part of me. And it was difficult for me to define myself because I - like most Filipinos - come from a conservative Catholic family.

I grew up listening to "The Wiz" and "Annie" soundtracks. And to Madonna, who I vogued to in private. TV, movies, and books were my only companions, as I did not have any friends.

I had a feeling then that Bert & Ernie from "Sesame Street" were more than roommates, and that the "Hardy Boys" were definitely having adventures together outdoors and indoors.

In my dreams, "Robocop" was my "roommate," and we weren't solving mysteries.

Looking at my childhood now that I am an adult, I was a very sad boy.

I handled the bullying by taking my mind away from reality. I spent my non-school days locked in the house, and not wanting to interact with anyone.

But everything is different now: I am living with my partner, I am extremely happy, and I do not have to escape to feel that happiness.

Now, the two of us listen to my Madonna and Abba (his favorite) records together, and we spend the weekends having South Australian adventures.

And yes: we have our adventures both outdoors and indoors.
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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March 28, 2011

Jason

Jason, age 8
Mechanicsville, Connecticut (1982)

"Mork and Mindy" suspenders, a sparkly Tweety Bird t-shirt, ironing a flowery tablecloth, and that nasty cold sore? Yep, I'm gay. People always ask, "When did you know?" The real question is, when didn't I know? While I didn't know there was a word for how I felt, all I knew is that it was the way I was.


In the 1st grade, I wanted to be Princess Leia - because I had a huge crush on Han Solo.

I'd jump on my Mom and Dad's bed, falling and bouncing, and pretending Han and I were escaping the Evil Empire.

I didn't know I could be a boy and still like boys, so I assumed I should have been born a girl.


Growing up with TV, my gay role models were Jodie Dallas (Billy Crystal) from "Soap" and Beverly LaSalle, the drag queen from "All In The Family." I think Billy Crystal's character had the most impact on me growing up. I assumed that since I liked boys like he did, that I had to get a sex change like he was going to.

I didn't really know what a sex change was, except that I'd be a girl and things would be better. For the longest time as a boy, I secretly dreamed of turning 18, going to Switzerland, and becoming a girl. Thank God for today's TV role models.

I am the baby of 4 children: two gay boys and two girls. My sister Tracy is the closest in age to me, and we would play house together. She would pretend to be Pamela Ewing from "Dallas" and I'd be the alcoholic Sue Ellen.

Our other favorite thing to play would be "2 Sisters." We'd pretend to be sisters who lived next door to each other with our husbands. We had such imaginations back then, and had such fun times.

School was hard for me, and I was bullied as far back as I can remember. I was called queer, f*g, fairy, you name it. It hurt a lot at the time, but I would never change who I was or the person I am today.

I always knew deep down that I was "normal" and its okay if your normal isn’t the same as everyone else. That's what makes you special.

So celebrate and embrace yourself.
You are amazing, so keep hanging in there and love who you are.

Jason's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Harrison Ford (in "Star Wars")
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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March 21, 2011

David & Dean

David, age 7
Dean, age 9
Sterling Heights, MI (1976)

Which two of these three brothers grew up to be gay? That's me David (left), with the hoop earrings. Even though it appears otherwise, my brother Dean (right) and I never knew the other was gay. Not until we were both adults who had moved out of the house. We weren't particularly close growing up, and are not as adults. So it was kind of a surprise to find out that we were both gay.

What I find most revealing about this pic is, despite the woman's clothes, there is already a consciousness on my part to "butch it up" for the camera.

By age 7,  I had already been told several times that I "write like a girl" and was asked on a few occasions whether I was "a boy or a girl".

These accusations and inquiries secretly bothered me.


It taught me early on that I needed to keep my feminine side in check. It's funny now that this thinking reveals itself, even dressed as a gypsy-girl for Halloween.

Ah, the innocence of youth.

Looking back, I definitely had same-sex attractions growing up, but I always rationalized them as "envy". I guess I certainly "envied" some hot looking guys.

Being gay was never a choice I made. Being gay was a growth of self knowledge, and an acceptance of the fact that I was "Born This Way".
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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March 19, 2011

Clarissa

Clarissa, age 4
Bronx, New York (1973)

I loved being a tomboy!
I wanted to be tough and dirty, and would go to work with my dad the mechanic. I didn't always wear coveralls, though.

My mom found a way to get me to wear dresses by making them herself, patterning them after Lucy Van Pelt of the "Peanuts" cartoon.

I acknowledged Lucy's toughness, and felt tough in those dresses, too!


I watched "The Bionic Woman," "Wonder Woman" and "That Girl" on TV,
all for the lead characters. Marlo Thomas' voice gave me butterflies.

I didn't know I was different until junior high. I just didn't get the way the other girls were obsessed about boys - mostly because I was obsessed about girls.

Being raised Catholic, I tamped my feelings down and thought of them as wrong until I was 25, and soon found friends who helped me accept myself and come out. All this, despite having a gay older brother who was accepted and loved by my family. Somehow I thought it would be different for me, since I was a girl.

Over the years, I'd tried to be more conventionally female. But there was nothing more freeing than cutting all my hair off, and returning to my tomboy roots!

To gay kids today: Love and accept yourself.
Stick with those who accept you, and live your truth.

Clarissa's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Marlo Thomas (in "That Girl")
_____________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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March 17, 2011

Henry & Rocky

Henry, age 5
Rocky, age 4
Santa Ana, California (1973)

I'm Henry on the right, with my brother Rocky on the left. Growing up searching for a sense of self is hard to do. My parents, especially my mother, made it virtually impossible for me to be comfortable with coming out at 17.
Our household told us that being gay was a sickness, and that we were defective.


I suffered at the hands of shrinks, priests, and my mother's tactics trying to "change" me. The one person who made this truly bearable was my little brother, Rocky. He is also gay. And he always supported me with no judgments.

Growing up, I knew Rocky was gay before I knew I was. He once performed "I'm Every Woman" by Chaka Khan in my mother's platforms, to cheer me up once when I was really down. Our mom caught us, but I remember him really looking up to me, trying in earnest to seek my approval.

We were different as boys. Rocky liked perfume, make-up, and glamor, and I liked sweaty men, rock music, and leather. We still like the same things now.
He was a Goth and I was an awkward punk, just trying to fit in.

We once got into a fist fight as teenagers when I slept with Chris, a boy he had a major crush on. He was Rocky's sleepover guest, but he'd made his way into my bed. My brother screamed at me, "I hate you, you f*cking whore!" as he wept.

That very moment, my dad asked my mom just what we were talking about.
Of course, we couldn't tell them what was really going on. Rocky didn't speak to me for 2 weeks, and I felt like crap - but he eventually forgave me.

Rocky's support made me stronger to come out and accept myself. Doing so made him more comfortable with who he is, too. There's been love, laughter, and tears. But thankfully, I had my brother with me the whole time growing up.

So I need to say:
I love you, Rocky.

I know I don't say it a lot, but this is the best way for me to show it. You have been my rock in many ways. We bonded with a united front, and our parents eventually came to accept us as well.

I now live in London with Bren, my partner of 9 years, and our dog Jolene. We also run a successful tattoo shop in the city. Looking back at this photo, it's a reminder of how much my brother Rocky really means to me.

Henry's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Sean Connery (in "Time Bandits")
Oh, that red toga and his crotch! Poppa's got a brand new bag!
_____________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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February 26, 2011

John

John, age 4
Pikeville, N. Carolina (1984)

I always felt different as a kid, but never knew why. I was described as "sweet, loving, empathetic, artistic" - later realizing all those words were code for gay.
I was the middle child of five, with two older sisters and two younger sisters. My childhood was spent playing dress up and putting on impromptu fashion shows with my sisters. I always loved dolls and girly things, but knew it was wrong and was something to hide. Growing up a devout Mormon didn't help the matter.

When I was finally old enough to realize I was "a gay," I immediately turned to self loathing and entered a deep depression.

I prayed for God to change me, and tried to avoid thoughts of other guys. At 17, I realized I could not change who I am, nor could not 'pray the gay away.'

Not knowing there was a world out there that could accept me for who I was, I tried to take my own life.

I was admitted to the hospital and kept for two weeks in a mental ward. It was there that I came out to my first person. It was a therapist, who on the final day of my stay, came into my room and said she knew I was holding something back.

I burst into tears and said:
'I'm gay, and I think I'm going to hell.'

I was so hoping to hear from her what I felt in my heart, such as, "No, you are a good person, that's what counts. Your actions define who you are, not who you are attracted to." All I wanted was a little reassurance, some understanding and comfort. Instead she said, "Now is the time you should turn to God. Now is the time to pray." I smiled and nodded, but I knew she was wrong.

At that moment, I realized that any God who would condemn me for something I could not control, was no God of mine. I left the hospital renewed in my self worth. I was weeks from my 18th birthday, and finally felt like there was a chance for me to be happy. I came out to others, and each time regardless of their reaction, I came to accept myself a little more.

Today I am a 31-year old man with a bright life and a positive outlook. All my struggles have given me the character and strength to overcome obstacles that would easily derail others. I love myself and know that I am not defined by my sexual orientation. I am lucky enough to have a family who accepts me (now), and a sister who is also gay, and she's an inspiration to me.

I hope anyone reading this can realize that they are special and worthy of love, no matter who they are. Our world is changing for the better, and each new day gives me renewed hope for the future. Life is good, and it is definitely worth living, even when things seem the bleakest. So hang in there! It gets better!!!
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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February 22, 2011

Jeff

Jeff, age 4
Emmaus, Pennsylvania (1966)

Here we are in Trexlertown, PA when my grandparents came to visit, and brought my cousin Rhonda along. We lived 4 hours apart, but saw each other often enough to feel really close. We always knew we shared a special bond, but we wouldn't know why until much later. Yup, my cousin Rhonda is gay, too.


That day, we all got to pick a hat from the gift shop. I'm 2nd left, wearing the red felt cap with a white feather - a Swiss Yodeler style, I believe - and I'm holding a daffodil. Rhonda chose the rebel soldier hat with the cross-guns emblem on the front. She was a few months older than me and was always my protector, amid the rough and tumble moments when all the cousins got together.

Our family is ultra-conservative and has never accepted that we're both gay.
To their credit, they've accepted us within the context of their rules, although they judge us and look down on us. Those "rules" were never pleasant for us, and over time, I realized those rules primarily ended up hurting them. My partner of 11 years is not welcome in my family's home, and that's truly their loss.

Our family views our being gay through the caricature of their beliefs, so they don’t really know us: we're just "the queer cousins." But she and I have made the best of it, and we're lucky because we always had each other, and still do.

Jeff's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Tom Selleck
I clipped out the Salem cigarette ads he did, which was a bit hard to explain.
Rhonda crushed on Olivia Newton-John, setting the course for her life/loves.

______________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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February 18, 2011

Guy

Guy, age 8
Eugene, Oregon (1970)

I really liked to be dressed up, and I hated pullover shirts. Everything had to "match" and I loved to wear ties. Those might have been early clues.

My first crush was on Max, a boy in the 1st grade with me.
He moved away before our second year of school, and I still don't think I'm over him.

My TV crushes included James West and Artemus Gordon from "The Wild, Wild West" and both Batman and Maxwell Smart also caught my eye.

I remember things like wanting an Easy-Bake Bake Oven, playing with my sisters' Barbie's high heels, and my oldest sister telling me not to "flap my wings" when I ran. Plus, being very curious about what other boys looked like naked.

I also liked bubble baths, short-shorts, and being the Mom whenever we played house. I don't think I wanted to be a girl; I just wanted to do the things girls got to do, and be pretty.

I also have a sister who is gay. When she was about 9 and I was 5, I dressed up as a princess on Halloween, and she went as a pirate.

My coming out was considerably delayed by an unfortunate obsession I had with Anita Bryant. I'd carried her records with me to nursery school & kindergarten. Plus, she was very glamorous and reminded me of my Mom. But her campaign against gay rights the year I turned 15 was upsetting, so I certainly didn't want to be someone Anita didn't like.

It took me until I was 22 to come out - way after everyone else already knew I was gay, including my parents.

Guy's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Mickey Dolenz ("The Monkees")

__________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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February 13, 2011

Joshua

Joshua, age 4
Las Vegas, New Mexico (1988)

This is me and my sister Jay, herself a lesbian. Growing up, I was the youngest of 4 kids from a single mother. My mom was a hairstylist, who encouraged us to be ourselves. I was always the loner kid with the heart of gold, and I liked talking to her customers in her hair salon.


When I turned 4, my mom got me a brunette Barbie (the closest they had to a "Latina" doll at the time) in a red Corvette car, and I was in love. I'll mention that I'm the one who requested Barbie. Back then, I watched Jem, Rainbow Brite, and loved My Little Pony. When my sister and I went to McDonalds and got the boy and girl Happy Meal toys, we would trade them.

Growing up in a city of 15,000 people, but whose name signifies shiny objects such as Las Vegas, I was very different and didn't have many friends. I read a lot, and took pottery, gymnastics, tap-dancing, and acting classes.

I remember one birthday party when I was 9, and not one person attended it.
At that young age, I realized I was different, and that everyone knew it about me. And, I understood what it meant for the other kids to feel "guilt by association." When I got older, into middle and high school, I was bullied tremendously. I'd try to get through classes unnoticed, where a good day would mean not being picked on 5 separate times.

I have always been different, and that just was it. I don't remember questioning why I was gay then, and never pegged it as being gay - just different. Maybe if I'd grown up in a household with more masculine influences, or if my mom wasn't so accepting, I would have payed more attention to my traits.

But my family encouraged me to be myself, and do the things that made me learn, grow, and smile. My mom never tried to lean me towards masculine traits nor feminine, she just wanted me to be happy.

And I've learned that those differences just never really mattered.
Because in retrospect, I know I was truly was BORN THIS WAY! :-)

Joshua's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Ricky Martin

____________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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February 08, 2011

Alyson

Alyson, age 6
San Antonio, Texas (1991)

My little sister is the short one in the photo, who came out 5 years before I did. The photo was taken before either of us knew what it meant to be gay. It's the first time walking to the school bus stop by ourselves for the first day of school.

I'm dyslexic and always felt different, yet it took a while for me to allow myself to know I was gay - even if I was consistently "gender queer."

I remember worrying about my attraction to women from as early of an age as 10. Still embarrassing to this day is my attraction to Jamie Lee Curtis, and her character in "True Lies."

In middle school, I was curious about the LGBT community, but it worked itself out via my interest in artists like Michael Stipe, Allen Ginsberg, Oscar Wilde, and other male icons.

That was easier than opening up the Pandora’s Box of my attraction to women.

So yeah, my younger sister beat me to it. I think my family expected my sister to come out as gay. Unlike me, she never lied to herself or others by pretending she was interested in boys. She might have also had the advantage of knowing more clearly what her attraction was. This goes to show that everyone is different.

Alyson's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Jamie Lee Curtis (in "True Lies")
______________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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Nick

Nick, age 5
Monclova, Ohio (1988)

I'd say I always had pizazz. I don't think I was ever over-the-top enough to be considered flamboyant, but I certainly was not meek or mild in my mannerisms. I never felt drastically different from the rest of my family, as everyone was a character. Home was a good place, even as my older brother came out at 25, and I was 17. I followed suit a year later. We were still treated the same, because we were the same: just colorful characters captured in photos like this one.

I was always attracted to guys, even at a very young age.

When teachers in elementary school announced the arrival of a new student, I would be gravely disappointed if the newcomer was a girl.

You see, I loved boys.

Boys were enigmatic to me and I didn't understand them. I observed them in class, running in herds on soccer fields, riding bikes in my neighborhood.

I didn't get what was so interesting, but I wanted to.

They excited me, like a toy I really wanted that was too expensive for my parents to buy. I couldn't get my hands on them, and I desperately wanted to!

Gay was such a negative term when I was growing up. It was used to harass and embarrass. I didn't want to be gay, and I denied it as I grew out of my childhood. When I was 15, however, I crumbled.

At a family party, the son of my mother's coworker said something to me I will never forget. I'd been running around, had gotten sweaty, and was looking for my sister. I found her in a group of kids, this boy included, and as I ran up to them, the first thing out of my mouth was, 'Phew, I'm really hot'.

This beautiful boy that changed my stubborn thoughts and unlocked my sexuality, looked me up and down and said, 'You sure are.' Everyone in the group took it as a joke and laughed about the absurdity. But I looked at him, stunned, and saw, for the first time in my life, that knowing look that gay men give each other. That look that travels across crowds of people, that sixth sense like your own personal dog whistle that raises every alarm in your head.

The knowing was instantaneous: Now I knew! GAY. I am gay.

The thing I knew since the days when this photo was taken, and the thing I denied for years, was true. Utterly and undeniably true. And then: relief.

And then, the beginning to a wonderful life!
______________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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Rudy

Rudy, age 6
East Los Angeles, California (1986)

This was Halloween at my grandmother's house. My mother was a single parent who didn't have much money to buy a costume, so she borrowed a wig and dressed me up as my grandmother, lipstick and all! I felt so comfortable in the wig and pearls, and wanted to keep it on all night. Looking back, I know this was my way of expressing that "Star Quality" I've always felt inside.

"Little Latin Boy In Drag:
Rudy 'Rudeness' Garcia"
My family says they always knew I was "feminine" or "sensitive" - however I was never treated any differently than any of the other children in my family.

My mother took me to see a doctor because she was concerned that I preferred to play with Barbie dolls over GI Joe.

The doctor told her it was healthy, and it would help me express my creativity, and make me a good parent!

So I had lots of beautiful dolls to dress up and style and role-play with my sister!

But once I discovered MADONNA, it was all over for Barbie! I would watch her in awe, rolling around on the floor in tulle, posing for the camera, and singing and dancing with that one star earring!

Soon after, I did my first performance of "Dress You Up" for my teenaged aunts. They were amazed that I knew all the words and dance moves!

If I could say anything to gay youth now it would be this:
Don't ever believe that you CAN'T be who you are!

Find a place or thing that is all yours, and allow yourself to blossom into the beautiful butterfly you will become.

Rudy's first, famous-person same sex crush:
"Marky" Mark Wahlberg
I saw those Calvin Klein ads in his briefs, and thought 'That's what I want'
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February 07, 2011

Charles

Charles, age 6
Denison, Texas (1984)

As Christmases went, 1984 was a harvest of presents – and my Cabbage Patch doll was the featured crop. I adored her thick, coarse mane of brunette yarn hair and attached birth certificate - which proudly informed me of her given name, Christine. Although I look less than thrilled in the photo, I was in fact elated by both the doll and my brand new "Alvin & The Chipmunks" slippers.

"A Cabbage Patch Christmas"
My 4-year old brother Cameron (right, who now identifies as bisexual) was never one to care what others thought, a trait that earned my admiration long ago.

But his joy was obvious this Christmas day. After all, he received not one, but two dolls.

I, however, knew that boys were not to own dolls. Which is why I was displeased when my parents caught this Kodak moment.

At least they hadn't opted for a photo when I actually opened the box. Why?

Because I'd shrieked with glee.

When I look at this photograph now at the age of 32, I'm amazed at how loving and encouraging my parents were. Not all Texan parents indulged a son's fondness for dolls. And certainly not all parents actually bought their boys such dolls. To my great joy, I learned to read via my mother's purchase of Rainbow Brite Storybooks. Any good grades I earned in elementary school were rewarded via my father's purchase of bedazzled My Little Pony toys, at my request.

Whenever Cameron and I broke into Mom's closet to play dress up – and then insisted upon a fashion show whenever neighbors visited – Mom and Dad never blinked an eye. They never forced me to be someone or something I was not. As a kid, I enjoyed Hot Wheels and hot pink. I stayed true to myself, and that was the best response to an intolerant and unsympathetic world.

At the age of 4, I realized I was gay when I developed a crush on Scotty, my best friend. My feelings were certainly not sexualized at the time, but my crush was undeniable and intense. Whenever I asked to kiss Scotty and lay next to him – like the characters in my mother's favorite soap operas – he immediately told his own mother. That in turn caused a great rift between our two families. Sadly, that was the first in many lessons of the cruelty of my peers and of society; even parental affirmation could not shield me from viciousness.

I first came out at 16 by telling a close friend and fellow marching band member. This was a radical act in 1994 and Governor George W. Bush-era Texas. That brave admission was an initial step towards honesty and self respect. And I never stopped being myself.

Indeed, that is my advice to all young gay people: Be yourself.

Whether you adore the color mauve or hope to win the World Series, take pride in yourself. You are amazing, and you will offer so much to the world. Never let anyone else convince you otherwise.

Charles' first, famous-person same sex crush:
John Schneider ("Dukes Of Hazzard")
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Ryan & Kevin

Ryan & Kevin, age 5
Mansfield, Texas (1996)

I'm Ryan (on the left), and this was just a normal day, playing with my - also gay - twin brother Kevin. We'd get in our baby blankets and pretend we were Cinderella and Snow White and have a blast putting on little shows for everyone. I remember singing along to cast recordings of "Annie" and "Wizard of Oz" all the time. We both loved to sing, act and dance, and still do.


I never thought I was that different than other little kids my age. But I didn’t exactly like to do boy stuff like go camping or be outside. I mainly liked doing the girl stuff. I remember we had a neighbor we played with, and she had a lot of Barbies. Kevin and I would play with them whenever we liked.

When we were 6, my mom asked us what we wanted for Christmas, and we proudly replied, 'We want Fairy Barbies.'  That must have been a big surprise for our parents, but that very Christmas we got our very own Barbies! It was one of my favorite Christmases of all time. 

Kevin and I weren't that popular during elementary school. It was very unhappy times for us, and I remember being made fun of for being gay when I was like 9. I didn't even know what the word meant! I thought it meant happy, so in a way it was a compliment. But I knew the way kids said it, that it was no compliment. I didn't know why people were picking on me, just that I felt a little unwanted. 

I remember in junior high phys. ed class that the guys talked about which girls were hot. I knew when a girl was more attractive, but I also knew which guy was more attractive. I felt like the only boy looking at the other boys in that class. I thought that every guy would notice when a hot guy would walk by.

It wasn't until my freshman year of high school that I came out, first to my three best girl friends. They took it well, so I came out to the rest of the school. Everyone took it well, and most kids already knew. This got me picked on a little, but by then I knew how to fight for myself. There was one guy who picked on me in the halls, but his bullying was more psychological than physical.

Coming out to my parents wasn't a great situation. A kid from school told his parents that I came out, and he had a problem with it. They then called my parents - who I had not told yet. At that point, Kevin and I both came out to our mom, and she was great. I think she already knew (we'd asked for Barbies for heaven’s sake!), but my dad took longer getting used to it.

But now, he accepts both of us. And I thank my friends who helped my through that time. They were wonderful! 
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